Hunger. Hunger is an animal that eats you up inside. It looks like it will kill every one of your nerves, eat every single fiber and tear your muscles. Hunger is terrible. I can’t go on a diet and not think about the thousands of people who die of hunger every day. Those cadaverous people in Africa, the beggars who live near my building and the models who don’t eat. I know, it is ridiculous and disgusting for me to think of models, but of all these, they are the only ones who do it by choice. The option called cash.
They win for that. So why do I want to do something that doesn’t give me pleasure if I’m not going to win? But it seems that every magazine tells me that I am going to take immense pleasure in being thin. I will be more beautiful. Wait a minute, I don’t know that, but I’m going to be thinner, which is the same thing.
Nowadays, people praise you with this phrase: “You are so thin”. The word skinny became a compliment, it became merit, you got something, the beauty GPS told you: “You got there”, you are the guy (or the mine), you are everything that everyone wants to be in the industry beauty and without getting a dime for it. But you are thin!
Well, I’m not and I’m still hungry! Hunger is something that tears me physically and mentally. I get in a bad mood when I’m hungry, I can’t work, I can only think about my next meal. Every time I go on a diet it’s the same: SO-FRI-MEN-TO! I already think about the next time I eat. Eating every 3 hours is a physical ordeal. I eat, 30 minutes pass and I’m already MOR-REN-DO hungry again! 3 hours is eternity in the form of hunger. And I stay here writing those words and it just makes me more hungry. I can only think of cheese bread with dulce de leche. That warm cheese bread and a dessert spoon dripping over my delicious cheese bread.
Why do I enjoy eating so much? I just wanted to be thin, not enjoying eating would be great! It would help a lot.
To Gisele Bündchen, the model, you know who she is. Of course you know. She says she eats everything, even ice cream. Sought it in a can of ice cream at Jô! And the only thing I can think of is: how much did Kibon pay her to do that?
Of course, she doesn’t eat ice cream. And if you eat I don’t want to know, because it just makes me angry, frustrated and hungry. Wanting ice cream, of course!
Back to reality. Today I will not confess my sins to you. I don’t even want to think about what I ate. I do not remember. But if you want, feel free to confess your sins down here. Good night!
Photo: Chanel Ad
Text posted on 29.10.2013 in I Could Kill For Dessert. The column I already put on weight for less joi transferred to this blog.